


you can leave (my heart alone)

by cosmicwritings



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, alternative universe, brooklyn nine nine au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 11:23:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11896713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicwritings/pseuds/cosmicwritings
Summary: Thing is, Lily is entirely too good at helping other people and faking be competent that, in situations like this, she has no idea what to do. What do you say when arguably one of your best friends say that the door you always thought was closed could've been open this entire time? She likes Bertram, truly, but she can feel her heart trying to claw its way out of her chest, and she's replaying the phrase 'Romantic Stylez' over and over again. She's in a sundress, and the cold air is biting at her bare skin, and she's not aware of this or any damn thing until she unfreezes herself. Her mouth is still half-open in an attempt to have said something before he left, but the words must've caught in her throat, and she turns, too late, to see his retreating self turn around the corner of the street, and he's gone.or, a brooklyn nine nine jily au.





	you can leave (my heart alone)

**Author's Note:**

> my favourite thing? snape erasure LMAO this is literally,,,, just paralleling jake x amy's relationship in b99 bc???? their relationship is #goals but also so similar to jily tbh if u recognise some scenes in this it's directly from b99 so,,, don't come yell @ me abt that. my last jiy fic rly inspired me to write more jily and b99 always makes me so happy,,, so sorry if this is a Bit Too Long i got excited pls leave a kudos & a comment !! 
> 
> title is from super far by LANY !! i'm in LOVE w them
> 
> (i'm also from england so all these american terms are literally taken from the show i know Nothing)

It starts off with a bet.

“In your face, Potter!” comes a sudden yell from the doorway. The whole precinct turns to see a redhead dressed smartly in her police uniform marching through the door at an alarming pace for someone so short, shoving a man in handcuffs towards the holding cell.

“You got  _ another _ ?” James Potter scowls from his desk, ducking a victorious flick from the woman as she passes towards her own computer. He pushes the glasses up on his nose. “That’s, like, your what? Second this morning?”

“Third, and it’s not even eleven AM,” Lily crows at him. She picks up a marker and holds it out to him. “Go on, go change the score.”

Slowly, reluctantly, James takes the whiteboard marker and changes the 41 to 42. The precinct cheers, and he has to contain the urge to change his own 39 next to it.

“Never mind that,” he hurries to say over the noise. Lily rolls her eyes. “Oh, whatever, we’ve got a new captain coming today. Don’t you have anything to say, Moony?”

Remus Lupin sighs, getting to his feet. The noise putters out, so everyone’s staring at him. The Sergeant badge sits a little wonky on his chest, but it always does. He’s been working with these idiots for years; he knows they’ll all just make fun of him. “I mean, you’re just going to ignore everything I say --- “

“Right you are!” a voice calls from the corner of the room.

“Shut up, let him finish, Sirius,” James says, throwing a paper ball at his best friend. In response, Sirius Black gives a pair of thumbs up.

“Anyways,” Remus continues, as if he was never interrupted. “We’re going to… We’re going to lay it easy on the new captain at first, all right? We don’t know who they are or how they’re going to react.”

“Great action plan, Remus,” Lily says with a salute.

James groans. “Kiss ass.”

Her mouth is open to retort, but the elevator pings, and they all scramble to their feet in haste.

“Captain.” Remus is the first to speak, giving them all the quickest glare before bowing his head towards the newcomer.

The woman standing in front of the elevator surveys them all. Her dark hair is swept into a ponytail, and it shifts when she turns her head to register each member. Though still dwarfed by Remus’ lanky height, she’s easily taller than everyone else, sans probably James and Sirius. “Sergeant Lupin. Precinct of Nine-Nine. I’m Marlene McKinnon, your new captain. I trust you all to aid me in making sure this precinct is up to scratch.”

“We can do you one better,” James jumps in immediately, before Remus can stop him. “We’re already up to scratch.”

Marlene studies him blankly. “Yes. I hope so. I suppose we’ll see. Sergeant Lupin, in my office, if you please.” She strides across the room, Remus in her wake, and closes the door to her office behind her.

There’s a short silence.

“Nice way to kill the mood, Potter,” says Lily, effectively breaking up the pause and turning back to her computer. There’s a smatter of chuckles. “Now get back to work. You’re still three arrests behind me.”

\--

“You wanted to see me, Captain?” Remus says respectfully, once Marlene has seated herself at her desk and turned to him.

“Yes. I want to make sure that I run this precinct in the best way possible. However, in order to do that, I need to know who I’m working with.” She nods towards the open blinds at the window of her office, overlooking the room outside. “I was hoping you could fill me in.”

Remus nods. “No problem, Captain.” He coughs once, before pointing to a girl with dark hair, who is currently staring murderously at her computer. “That’s Dorcas Meadowes. Tough, smart, really scary. Doesn’t seem to care about much at all.” He redirects his gaze. “Peter Pettigrew. Not the best detective out there, but he tries. A lot. Picks out the smaller things, most the time. He ends up pulling through in the end. And that’s Lily Evans, over there. She’s got an older sister that she’s not on the best terms with, see, but she’s got a big heart. Very good at her job. She’s also got a mean competitive streak, but it’s mostly directed with James at the moment, with The Bet and all.”

“A bet?” Marlene interrupts, eyebrows raised.

Remus nods gravely. “The Bet. A couple months ago, James and Lily made a bet on who could catch more arrests in the next year, to prove being the best detective. If James wins, Lily has to go on a date with him. If Lily wins, James has to give her his car.”

“Sounds immature,” Marlene says bluntly.

“Maybe so,” Remus shrugs. “But the arrest numbers have risen a lot since it started, so no one’s really complaining.”

“And James then?”

“In all honesty, James is the best detective we have. He’s very noble, way too into the justice of putting away bad guys, and actually incredibly good at puzzles. Only thing is, he’s got a real trouble with behaving maturely. Especially with Sirius in the department.” Remus nods at the man sitting at the desk outside the office. “Sirius Black, receptionist. Comes from a bad family of racists, the entire works. Ran away when he was sixteen, stayed with James. They’re childhood friends, see.”

Marlene nods slowly, taking in all this information. After a pause, she turns to Remus. “Here’s the thing, Sergeant Lupin. This precinct is doing fine at the moment, statistically, but I want to make it the best in Brooklyn. Are you with me on doing so?”

“Of course, Captain.”

\--

“What’s wrong, Dorcas?” Lily says, finally putting down her pen.

“What makes you think anything’s wrong?” A sneer slips onto Dorcas’ face, but she’s fidgeting slightly. Lily notices.

“You’ve been standing by my desk for ten minutes,” Lily replies. She hooks her chin into the palm of her hand, leaning it on her table. “I figured there was something you needed to tell me.”

Dorcas hesitates for a moment. She studies Lily’s green eyes, takes a quick look around to make sure no one’s listening, and stoops low so she can murmur. “I slept with the new captain.”

“What?”

Both Lily and Dorcas’ heads jerk up at the squawk, Dorcas shooting laser eyes at James. He’s wearing earplugs and had been staring at his computer when Dorcas checked the room, but it appeared that his hearing skills extended from across the conjoined desks of his and Lily.

“You slept with the Captain?” slips out of his mouth before he can stop himself, and the entire room once again silences. Peter's eyes look like they're going to pop out.

“You and your loud fucking mouth, Potter,” Dorcas snarls, and James physically rolls his seat back out of instinct. Taking this as a confirmation, Sirius hoots from his corner.

“I mean, how’s that even possible?” Peter says, turning Dorcas’ attention back on him instead of murdering James. James gives him a thumbs-up. “The Captain’s been in her office since she got here. Remus came out a couple hours ago, and she’s just been sitting there, doing paperwork.”

“Obviously, before, you idiot,” says Dorcas through gritted teeth. “Like… Last year of high school.”

“You went to high school?” Sirius shouts suddenly, seeming genuinely astonished. Dorcas redirects her glare at him, and he raises his hands in mock-surrender.

“Now this whole bloody precinct knows, I’m taking a break,” she snaps, before grabbing her leather jacket and storming out.

“Oooh, you fucked up,” taunts Lily, grinning in James’ direction.

"'Ooh, you fucked up,' title of your sex tape," James says, almost instinctively, and Lily throws her pen at his head.

“I’d watch my back if I were you.” Sirius says, referencing Dorcas. He props his feet on his desk, using his arms as a headrest. Just then, Remus enters from his bathroom break, and subsequently swats Sirius on the head to sit back up.

“Don’t you have work to do?” Remus says pointedly, eyeing up the pile of paperwork stacking up on his desk.

“Don’t you?” Sirius parries back, and Remus swats at him again. “Hey! Watch the face!”

Remus swats at him once more to make a point.

\--

"Potter, where's your tie?"

"Uh," James says intelligibly, tearing his eyes away from his computer screen to face Marlene's unimpressed expression. "With all due respect and all that,  _ what _ ?"

"Your tie. I specifically told everyone to be dressed in their correct uniform for work."

"Thing is, ties aren't… Really for me." 

James is vaguely aware of Remus rubbing his temples on the other side of the bullpen and Lily sniggering opposite him.

"Doesn't matter," Marlene says, and the precinct winces at her tone. "I ordered everyone to dress correctly for work, and you've disobeyed me. You're on desk duty."

Everyone's eyes widen in shock, and James lets out an indignant, " _ What? _ " He quickly rushes to add, "But that case -- the murder over that ham, with Ratko and all -- I'm in the middle of solving it! Lupin said it was a priority case for the whole precinct!"

"And you can work on it from your desk." There's a finality in Marlene's tone, and it's clearly a dismissal, because she turns on her heel to walk into her office.

"But I'm your best detective!" James calls after her, and the door shuts.

"Uh,  _ second _ best," Lily says, giving him a dirty look.

\-- 

James' wheely chair makes a rather irritable squeaky noise as he rolls in front of Sirius' desk, whining, "Honestly, though, Pads, she's kind of the worst."

"You've said. Three times. In the last ten minutes." Sirius throws his head back dramatically. "Mate, you're seriously fucking with my  _ feng shui  _ right now. I got bored live-tweeting this rant seven minutes ago."

"I'm just saying, why is it so important I wear a tie? How is that going to affect my ability to solve cases?"

Lily walks by, a case file in her hand, and she rolls her eyes. "Holy shit, just lay off on the Captain. I think she's awesome."

"Well, of course you do ---"

"Hey, by the way," Lily cuts him off with unhidden glee. "On the bright side, it's going to be hard for you to up your number of cases if you're stuck here." Yeah, so she's a bit of an asshole. Sue her. She likes winning and having a step over James Potter.

He pins her down with a glare, but she merely grins at him before walking back to her desk. 

"Potter!" 

At the sudden call, Sirius kicks James' chair away from him, and James turns to see Marlene coming out of her office, eyebrows raised.

"What are you doing?"

"Dropping some files to Sirius," James lies easily, and there's no way she's buying that, so he rushes on quickly. "But, you know what? I think I've found something that can help us find Ratko." He wheels back to his desk and sorts messily to get the right files. "See, there's no actual records for the name Ratko, but there's a gang of thugs that go by odd nicknames, and one who goes by The Rat and The Butcher has been said to hang around a storage unit near Borham Park. I think it's worth checking out."

There's a silence. "That's impressive work, Potter." 

James thinks she's smiling, but Lily laughs unconvinced when he tries to tell her later.

\-- 

"Why is he still talking?" Marlene asks Lily on the stakeout mission, doing a good job at ignoring James rambling from the back seat. "Is he always like this?"

"I just tune it out," Lily says honestly. 

Marlene tries to reply, but is interrupted by the man behind her.

"Hey, Captain, I heard that you caught the Disco Strangler a few years ago. Like, that shit is legendary. I was just wondering --- why did it took so long for you to become Captain if you're this good? Is it because you're so young? I mean, even being young, you really should've been promoted quicker if you're catching criminals like the Disco Strangler ---"

"It's because I'm a lesbian." Marlene's lips flatten into a straight line. "And the police force haven't been ready for an openly out Captain until recently. At least, they weren't open to a female gay Captain until recently." 

"Oh." And then, "I'm sorry." 

James doesn't seem to know what to say after that, and Lily kind of, sort of, maybe panics at the awkward silence that seems inevitable to come, so she blurts out, "I'm glad it's changing, you know. Like. That we have a role model like you to lead us."

Marlene quirks an eyebrow.

"I just mean, you know," Lily says, flushing, "it's good, I don't know. Motivation, I guess. I mean, for me, I want to be Captain one day, and I'm openly bi, so."

"Thank you, Evans," Marlene says, and Lily smiles back weakly. 

It's quiet for a while again, and Marlene foolishly thinks that James has finally decided to stop talking, but then he pipes up again.

"I get it! The tie thing! You want us all to wear ties so that we're clearly like a team! It's important to you, because you were kept off a team for so long, and now you're the head of the team, and it's  _ important! _ " 

Lily rolls her eyes, and Marlene smiles. 

(James rubs it in Lily's face for a full week.)

\-- 

"Why are you all sitting around, not doing any work, may I ask?"

The precinct whirls around to see their Captain standing outside her door, arms folded. Naturally, she's looking right at James, who she coins is somehow the ringleader of this. (He always is.)

"Lily Evans is late," he replies almost instantly, tilting his head to his partner's empty desk. "She hasn't been late to work a single day in the last four years. We're trying to guess what happened."

There's a pause, before Marlene shrugs. "All right, I'll play. I'm going to go with… She got held up in line at the bank. Oh. This is fun."

"It is fun," James agrees. "But you're wrong. See, she clearly was so tiny that she stepped into one of the cracks on the sidewalk and fell through."

Marlene opens her mouth to say something else, but the elevator pings at that moment, and Lily rushes out. 

'There she is!" James exclaims, before adopting a fake frown. "Lilian, where have you been? We've all been worried sick about you; this is completely unacceptable!"

"Shut it, Potter, I'm only seventy seconds late," Lily says defensively, throwing her stuff onto her chair. 

"Miss Evans," Marlene says, in her serious voice, "you will tell us what held you up and why you are late to work." 

Lily pouted. "There was just a problem at the bank."

"Ha!" Marlene yelps loudly, and the rest of the precinct turn to stare at her. With a smug smirk in James' direction, she returns back to her office without another word.

"You're slacking, Evans," James says with a tut, as everyone else returns back to their work.

"I said, shut it, Potter," she replies with gritted teeth. "Or, I swear to God, I'll stab you."

He looks appalled. "Lily Jane Evans, you are a  _ cop _ ."

"I'm a smart cop," she corrects. Her computer is already turning on. "Which means I wouldn't even get caught. Suck it, bitch."

Honestly, he can't argue with that logic.

\--

"Evans."

"Potter."

They're standing barely a foot apart, nose to nose, but James tilts his head down at her further.  His six foot to her five two really plays on her weak points. "The Bet ends today. Are you ready to lose?" 

Lily scoffs. "Please. We both know I'm going to win." 

Peter looks up idly from his desk and gestures to the scoreboard. "It's all tied up at the moment."

'Not for long," James reassures. "In eight hours, I'll have pulled ahead."

Lily raises an eyebrow at him, and he raises one back. They're still standing terribly close, and then Lily shoves him in the chest before sprinting towards Marlene's door. 

She slams the door behind her, pulling down the blinds quickly, and leans on it. "Hey, Captain ---"

"I am not giving you or Potter any extra cases, so you can win your bet." 

Lily pouts. "Oh, Captain, come on,  _ please _ ."

"No."

She huffs, and drags her feet back to her desk. James is already sitting at his, after losing the race to Marlene's office, and he pulls a face at her. 

\--

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Lily announces, running into the bullpen with a perp. "I present to you Benjamin Avery, who I caught trying to rob an ATM, bringing my score up to 77, which is one higher than you, and --- Ha! Only one minute to go! Ready to lose, Potter?"

"Oh, no." James deadpans. 

"Hell, yeah! Wait. Wait. Why don't you sound worried? What did you do?"

James grins, one that lights up his whole face, and Lily has to stop herself squinting from being blinded. "Because I just busted a prostitution ring." He points to a line of perps being walked through the precinct.

"That's not a felony!" she argues desperately, but she's grasping at straws. She has a nasty feeling she knows what's coming next.

"It is when it's your second offence," James says cheerily. Absentmindedly, he takes off his glasses to clean them, whilst he continues speaking. "Which is the case for ten of these men. So that's ten more for Potter, only one more for Evans, and it's over in ten, nine, eight ---"

"No!" 

The entire precinct has put down their work now to witness this, several getting up to stand behind James.

"Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one --- " James presses a button on his phone so celebration music can begin playing, and Sirius and Peter both release party poppers. Remus is bobbing along to the beat, and has the decency to look a little guilty when Lily glares in his direction.

Lily looks at Dorcas to help her, but the other woman just shrugs her shoulders, cackling loudly.

"Will you, Lily Evans, make me the happiest man alive and go on the worst date ever with me?" Lily looks back down to see James on his knee, a one-dollar ring in his hand. His glasses are slightly wonky on his nose now, but he's still grinning wildly, and Lily hates this, hates losing, she really does, but he looks so happy right now, so the scowl on her face is a little more forced than it should be. "Spoiler, you have to say yes." 

She can see Sirius with his phone camera on, and she's willing to bet that he's fucking live streaming this. She can't believe these people are her friends. "Yes."

"She said yes, everybody!" And a cheer goes up in the room.

"God, they're the  _ worst _ ," Peter mutters to Remus.

\--

"Evans!" James honks his car horn again. "Evans, time for our date!"

"Do I really have to do this, James?" Lily's head pokes out from the door of her apartment, with a groan. "This dress is horrible. I look ridiculous."

"Yep! Come out!"

"You already know I'm bi," she says, and James can't help but laugh. Even though she looks miserable stepping out of the door in a bright pink dress, he can see her snickering at her own joke.

"Ah, look at that, I knew that shade of pink was going to clash the worst with your red hair." James sounds thoroughly delighted at this confirmation, and Lily wants to throw her shoe at him.

"I can't believe I have to wear this all night.."

"You know the rules! Date starts now and ends at midnight, everything is decided on by me. Oh, and there's one more rule." James lowers his voice, face growing mock serious. Her green eyes meet his hazel ones, and she blinks. "You can't fall in love with me." 

"Wow, you really stole that from ' _ A Walk To Remember _ ', you dork." Lily pokes her tongue out at him, throwing herself into his car. "But that won't be a problem."

\-- 

"M'Lady," James says in a posh accent with a wicked smirk as he opens the door for her, hand already out to help her.

"You sound fucking stupid," Lily tells him, accepting his hand and pulling herself out of his car. 

"Funny you should mention that, that's what my parents said every time I put on that voice to speak to my fancy aunts." 

"Fancy aunts?"

"Surprise, my family is loaded." He says it off-handedly, not a hint of his usual arrogance in his voice, but he pulls a face when he says it, showing her exactly how he feels about it. 

"How?"

"That's not important!" James says hurriedly, and then immediately pulls her along towards the bar in front of them. A few passerbys openly gawk at her dress as they move past them.

"Attention, everyone!" James says when they enter the bar, hands cupped around his mouth as a speakerphone. The entire room, which he knew Sirius and Remus and Peter were all going to be at tonight, turns to look at them. He didn't really expect Dorcas and Marlene to also be there, but it's a pleasant surprise. "Just wanted to take a second for everyone to admire this mess!"

He gestures to Lily, who rolls her eyes. Her red hair bobs as she lowers herself into a curtsey for everyone, to the sound of Sirius' catcalls and their laughter. 

"I'm going to the bathroom, and if you try to stop me, I'll gut you," Lily says to James with an upbeat tone, and bounces off before he can say anything.

As she goes, James slips into a seat at the far table, where Sirius, Remus and Peter are all sitting. He catches the beer Peter slides his way.

"Sorry I can't stay," James says, not even a little apologetic. He takes a sip of the beer, making a face slightly at the bitter taste. "But I've got a terrible night planned for Lily, and I want to make the most of it." 

He doesn't even notice all three of them exchange a look. Remus doesn't flinch when he drains half of his beer in a single gulp, saying, "How much did you spend on this night exactly?"

"Way too much," James admits. "But it'll be worth her humiliation."

The three exchange a look again, and this time James catches it. "What?"

Peter heaves a sigh, after nudging from Sirius. "Prongs, do you know why little boys pull little girls' pigtails? Because they want their attention.They want them to notice them. And funnily enough, that's exactly what you're doing. Somewhere in you, you like Lily."

"First of all, that's terrible and sexist ideology that you should not be encouraging." Okay, wow. Maybe he was spending a little too much time with Lily. It's not his fault that she's  _ right _ . "Second of all, that's absurd. I do not like Lily."

"Yes, you do," Remus and Sirius say in sync, and James gives them both a dirty look.

"Okay, yeah, no. I'm not listening to you three idiots. You got kicked out of that frozen yoghurt shop last Friday, and if that doesn't serve as evidence to bad judgement, I don't know what does."

"Hey, you were the one who started throwing the frozen yoghurt first!" Peter retaliates, but James is already getting up, sliding his mostly-full beer at Remus to finish. He honestly just wanted to get away, but luckily Marlene is calling to him from the bar.

"Potter," she says when he gets to her, and he gives her a mock salute. "The team tracking that truck just got back to me, and we know where the truck is heading. I need you to stake out the drop site." 

"Oh, Captain, c'mon. You know it's the date I had planned for Lily tonight, and I had things  _ ready _ ." 

"Well, this isn't a negotiation, so go."

James huffs out a groan, but he grabs Lily's hand as she comes out the bathroom at that moment, pulling her towards the door again. 

"Duty calls," he tells her, jerking his head back at Marlene.

"Oh, thank fuck," Lily breathes out.

\--

"God, I'm glad to be out of that dress," Lily says, chewing on some gummy bears in the passenger seat of James' car.

"Yikes." He leans over to steal some off of her. "But don't worry, when we finish this up, we can go straight back to the worst date of your life."

"Yeah, no. Nothing can be worse than the date I had with Petunia's friend's brother." Lily wrinkles her nose, and he looks at her, interested. He's heard of her sister, of course, turned spiteful over the years due to Lily's apparent rising talent at being an excellent cop, feeling overshadowed by her younger sister. But it was rare that Lily said her sister's name without some sort of nostalgia and mild anger attached to it. "He was a dentist, and seemed to think that my sweet tooth was ruining my teeth. Halfway through dessert, he insisted that my filling came out."

James pauses. "You're literally halfway through a bag of gummy bears."

She throws one at him, and then stuffs five in her mouth. "What about you? What's your worst date?"

"Eh, it's like a fifty-way tie." At her raised eyebrow, he continues. "You've met Sirius and Remus and Peter. You know they're the worst at blind dates."

She thinks about it, then shrugs. "Fair."

"Yeah. I mean, the last date I went on was --- D'you know Anya Patil?"

"From the coffee shop opposite the street from the precinct?"

He nods. "That's the one. Burst into tears when I told her I was Capricorn." Before she can reply, he raises his binoculars again, and squints through his glasses. "Hey, look, I think the truck's coming."

She mirrors his actions, cocking her head to the side. "Let's move to the roof?"

Ten minutes later, Lily's sitting on the bench on the roof of the nearest building, still making her way through her bag of gummy bears, watching James lean over the edge.

"Mm, I love up here being so high," he says, almost to himself.

"Yeah?" she replies, surprised, and he shrugs. "I --- Shit, dude, did a pigeon just fly into your car?"

"Probably." She doesn't understand why he doesn't sound so bothered, and he comes to sit next to her. She can feel his warmth seeping through the layers of their jackets and into her own skin at this distance, his arm brushing against hers. "The windows don't close properly."

She snorts. "That car is literally a pile of crap. Why do you still have it? If you're loaded and everything, surely you can just buy yourself a new one."

He pauses, and she realises she doesn't know what to do when James actually takes a second to think before he speaks. "You really want to know?"

"Yeah."

"Two days out of the Academy," he starts, "I was catching some guy on foot, about eleven blocks. Now, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm kind of athletically gifted ---" Yeah, she's definitely noticed. She shakes her head anyway. "--- but he was fast. Anyway, when I finally caught up to him, I threw him up against  _ that _ car, which has a ' _ For Sale _ ' sign on its window, and I bought it."

There's a pause, in which Lily tries to digest this story. When he looks up at her, she's watching him with an odd look in her eye. 

"What?" 

She tilts her head, her mouth open to say something, and he doesn't know why he's nervous, but he  _ is _ . "You're  _ sentimental _ , James Middle Name Potter."

"Middle Name?"

"I don't know your middle name," she admits, "so that's just going to have to settle. Hey, how is it that I've known you for five years, give or take, and I don't know your middle name?"

He shrugs. "F. James F. Potter."

"F?"

"Yeah, for James Fucking Potter," he says with a grin, and he's graced with her laughter.

"Yeah, all right. You're sentimental, James Fucking Potter."

He ducks his head, cheeks colouring pink, and she's a little embarrassed to find it endearing. She grabs a gummy bear out of the bag without looking and says, in what she hopes isn't a strangled voice, "Sweet?"

"Throw it."

So she does, watching it form a dodgy arc in the air, before he leans forward and catches it in his mouth. His jawline sharpens at the movement.

"Your turn?" he asks, chewing.

"Hit me." But then, he's throwing it, and she feels the sweet hit her nose before bouncing to the floor, and she pouts.

"That was terrible."

"Not all of us was born 'athletically gifted'," and she's grinning anyway.

His phone rings, and he gets up to answer it, leaving her to practise throwing the gummy bears herself.

"Hello?"

"Good news, Potter," comes Marlene's voice, in lieu of a greeting. "I found someone on the night shift who can relieve you of your duty."

"Yeah?" James glances back at Lily, who's still practising. There's a scatter of gummy bears around the bench on the floor, and her hair is glinting in the darkness of the night. "Actually, you know what? I think we're good."

"Are you sure?" Marlene sounds surprised.

"Yeah, I kind of want to see what happens." 

"Who was that?" Lily says when he walks back to her, retaking his seat again.

"Just the Captain checking in on us."

She nods in response, and then says excitedly, "Look what I figured out." She grabs a handful gummy bears from the bag and then throws them all in the air, catching one and letting the rest to the floor. She chews triumphantly, a twinkle in her eyes, and James finds it hard not to smile back. "The key is volume."

He thinks he's still staring at her, so he looks away quickly, catching sight of a truck pulling in below. "Hey, look, I think that's them. Ready to catch some bad guys?" As she rolls her eyes, he adds, "Do you still have that dollar ring?"

She takes it off her finger and presses it into his hand. "James, what are you ---?"

"Trust me." And she's running down the fire escape after him, stopping short at the door when he walks straight in front of the men coming out of the truck.

"Honey, we are  _ not _ lost!" James calls to her, still walking, and it says a lot that she understands in a single second.

"Yes, we are!" she says, mustering all the acting skills she has in her and strolling out to meet him.  When she was eight, she wanted to be an actress, but Petunia had sniffed at that. The two truck drivers have stopped what they're doing to watch them, and Lily seizes her chance. "Hey, excuse me, do you have a map or something? My idiot of a boyfriend here got us lost and we don't know where to go."

"Oi, miss, you're not supposed to be here anyway ---" one of them starts to say, but James cuts him off with a dramatic huff.

"It was meant to be a romantic night!" he says loudly to Lily, exasperated. "I was going to propose, see!" He makes a show of getting the cheap ring out of his pocket to prove his point, and Lily fakes a gasp, and the two truck drivers' eyes widen. "But if I'm so much of an idiot, I suppose I won't bother then!" 

He chucks the ring across the street, and the taller of the two truck drivers actually winces.

"Hey ---"

"Ah, c'mon, dude ---"

"Freeze, NYPD! Get on the ground!"

It's entirely in sync, the way James and Lily both drop their acts and point their guns in a rapid movement. Bewildered, both men drop to their knees.

"Look, man," the taller one says, "it sucks that we're getting arrested, but I'm glad the two of you are together again."

\--

Getting called to the Captain's office makes Lily a little uneasy, but Marlene doesn't look angry, she doesn't think.

"You wanted to see me, Captain?"

Marlene shrugs. "Just wanted to say good job on the arrest last night, Evans."

"It was no problem."

"Yes, well. Sorry to ruin the evening for you and Potter. The night shift members are thankful that you didn't need to switch over."

Lily blinks. "Sorry?"

"Yes, Potter told me that he didn't need to switch you guys out with the night shift. Clearly, you had it under control."

"Oh." There's something funny in Lily's stomach, since it feels a little shifty. Marlene's studying her warily, but she can't bring herself to focus right now. On habit, her fingers fidget with her nails.

"You're dismissed, Evans."

"Oh. Oh, right. Yeah, sorry."

\--

"Your dad is Fleamont Potter? As in, the one who created Sleekeazy's Hair Product?" 

If James keeps walking, he might be able to pretend that he didn't hear her. He's not even surprised that it's taken her only a week to figure this out. Fucking cops and detective work.

"Oi, Potter!"

Yeah, no chance.

He spins around on his heels to face Lily's delighted expression.

"Are you telling me that your family fortune is because your dad created the country's best hair product?"

"I mean, it's not  _ completely _ because of that…"

"Oh, my God!" Lily's face lights up even further, and she looks as though it's the best thing that's ever happened to her. "James F. Potter. James Fleamont Potter! Oh, my God! But --- but," she falters, "your hair --- it's a fucking mess!"

"Hey! I take offence to that!"

\--

The woman with the bright yellow fingernails has been fidgeting by Sirius' desk for fifteen minutes now, and, unfortunately for her, he's sound asleep.

After a while, James takes pity on her. "Are you all right there? Do you need any help?

The woman turns, raising a shoulder. "Uh, no. I'm just waiting for someone."

"Most people are on lunch break," he tells her. "Who is it ---"

"Mary? Mary Macdonald, is that you?" 

There's a screech that could belong to no one other than Lily, and then the tiny redhead is running forward to throw herself into the woman's arms, who looks thoroughly startled.

"Lily!" the woman -- Mary -- says, sounding confused. "Oh ---  _ Oh _ , Lily! I didn't realise she was talking about you, see, Lily's such a common name, I thought ---"

" _ What _ are you talking about?" Lily says, breathless. James is still reeling at the sight of this all. "I thought you were still travelling! Last time I heard, you were in China --- or was it Paris? I got that postcard from India, see ---"

"Sorry," James interrupts, increasingly becoming more and more confused. "But what the fuck is going on?"

Sirius stirs in his sleep, but he doesn't wake up.

"This is Mary, my best friend from back when I was at school," Lily explains, still clinging to her arm. "But I haven't seen her in years!"

"You were waiting for Lily, then?" James says, addressing Mary.

"What? Oh, no. I didn't even know Lily worked here --- I mean, I did, but I didn't know you were the same Lily, see, she talks about you lot all the time at home."

James and Lily both open their mouths at the same time, but is cut off by Marlene McKinnon's voice behind them. They turn.

"Oh. I didn't know you were coming to visit me today, Mary." Marlene nods. "Potter, Evans, I see you've met my wife."

"You're joking!" Lily exclaims, the words falling out before she can help it, and she slaps her hand over her mouth.

\--

They're at some police conference, and it's boring James to tears honestly. It happens every few months, and there's nothing ever to do, but sit and listen to older police officers talking about things that happened decades ago. Every time, James and Peter try to fake ill in order to get out, but Remus is required to go as a Sergeant and he sees straight through them. Sirius finds it hilariously funny that he doesn't have to actually go, so he comes along to make fun of the fact he's abusing the ability to use the hotel pool whilst they all sit in a stuffy room.

"Five more minutes, and then we get a break, so sit up, Potter," Lily says to his right, nudging him in the ribs. He's been slipping further down the chair as the hours went by, and he has to push himself up to sit upright again. To her credit, she looks a second from passing out in her seat herself, but she has the decency to look like she's making an active effort at paying attention. Remus is doodling on his notepad next to her, Dorcas painting her nails a deep purple discreetly, and Peter had dozed off on his shoulder ten minutes in.

When the break is called, James shakes Peter awake, and they all exit the room, rolling out their stiff limbs.

"God, this is the fucking worst," Lily says with a groan.

"'God, this is the fucking worst', title of your sex tape," James says automatically, and ducks out of instinct when Lily raises her hand to flick him.

She only manages to flick his shoulder, mouth open to retort, when someone clears their throat and she whirls around, surprised.

"Bertram!" Lily calls out, leaning forward to crush the man into a hug quickly. James didn't realise he disliked how affectionate Lily was until now. 

"Lily, hi," the man says with a warm smile. He's tall -- not as tall as James, he'd like to point out, but anyways -- and that was probably the most interesting thing James had to say about him, honestly. Bertram's hair is a dull brown-blonde blend, eyes a light brown, and his teeth are straight in a way that made James think that he probably had a regular dental check. He seems genuinely happy to see Lily.

"It's been so long! I didn't think you'd be here," she says, pulling away. 

"Yeah, transferred to the 82 recently, so here I am." They both laugh, and James is having a hard time trying to figure out what's funny. "Quick, what does HAINE stand for?"

"High Arm IN Endangered Spine," Lily replies instantly, and they high five. 

"Well, I need to catch back up on my team, but I'll see you? I can buy you a drink after this wraps up, for old times' sake? It was great seeing you."

Lily nods back enthusiastically, and he walks off.

"Who was that?" Dorcas says, not even hiding the fact that she was eavesdropping, and James is oddly grateful she asked.

"Oh, that's Bertram Aubrey. We met on our First Aid Training, and went on, like, five dates last year, but he got stationed to Queens, and we just lost contact." Lily shrugs, grabbing one of the coffee cups at the drinks table. 

"Oh, right. That's the guy you said all that lame crap about, like how he's good listener and stuff," Dorcas says, nodding. 

"I'm sorry, what do you look for in a guy?"

"I don't," Dorcas replies without hesitation, and Lily gives her a high five too. "Hey, make me a coffee too."

James shuffles over closer to Peter, watching Lily out of the corner of his eye. "It's so weird that Lily dated that guy."

Peter raises his eyebrows high on his forehead. "Why do you care so much?"

"I  _ don't _ ," James insists, but it's fruitless, because he can already see Peter mentally noting down to tell Sirius and Remus about it later, and he's not going to hear the end of this for a while. His best friends are objectively the worst.

\--

Here's the thing: James is really trying his damn best not to care, but Lily is sitting about just across the bar with Bertram, laughing prettily, and it is very distracting. 

"Why are you sitting here all alone, you loser?" Sirius says suddenly, sliding into the seat opposite him. "Why are being all weird?"

"What do you think Lily sees in Bertram?" James has to force himself not to wince at the question that comes out of his mouth.

Sirius nods in a way he thinks is wise. "Ah, yes, Wormtail filled me in on all of that. So you do like her."

"I'm just curious!" But lying to your best friend is like wearing a big sign that says the exact opposite, and Sirius is looking at him pitifully over his cocktail. He orders them unironically, and James kind of loves him for it. Remus drinks beer like it's easy, and Peter can carry his weight more than they all thought, but James finds that it tastes remotely similar to cat piss. See, Sirius probably can drink beer well enough, but stays true to flavoured alcohol instead. "Like. I guess he's good looking, and he's a good cop, and they share some of the same interests."

James looks so lost that Sirius feels a little bad, so he leans forward on his forearms. They've been pseudo-brothers since they were eleven. If anyone is going to have to tell it to him straight, it's going to have to be him. "You want to know why Lily went out with Round-Head over there?"

"That's a mean thing to call him."

It's a sign of his loyalty that Sirius ignores the comment and repeats again, "You want to know why she went out with him and not you?"

James shrug, then sighs. "Yeah."

Sirius cocks an eyebrow, taking a sip out of his cocktail. "Because he actually asked her out."

\--

"Night, everyone!" Lily chirps, and James stands up from his desk in jerky movements.

"Hey, Evans, wait!" He calls after her, and she stops to turn around.

"You all right there, Potter?"

"Yeah," he says, taking a deep breath. He thinks it's silly that he can feel the blood pulsing through him in that moment. Has the precinct always been this warm? "Yeah. Listen, I just had something I wanted to ask you. --- Hey. Is that a new lipstick?"

It's a dark red in contrast to her usual light pink lip balm, and if there was something to be distracted by right now, well.

Lily pulls a face. "Yeah. I'm going out on another date with Bertram tonight, and I borrowed it off Dorcas. It's the lightest colour she owned. Does it look okay?"

There's a sinking in James' chest, but all he can think is how it's kind of his own fault. He wants to tell her that it's beautiful, that every colour she wears is beautiful, that he didn't realise he wanted to tell her for so long, but she's going on another date tonight with someone else and he missed his chance, so all he says is, "Yeah, it looks great."

"Thanks," Lily says, pleased. "Sorry, what did you want to ask?"

"It's --- Uh, it's nothing. Just a work thing. But we can talk about it tomorrow, go have fun on your date."

"Okay," she says, giving him a strange look, and he smiles back, hoping it seems genuine enough. "Well, bye then. See you tomorrow, Potter."

And she walks away, and James watches, feels everything in him  _ ache _ .

\--

After that, Lily and Bertram become a  _ thing _ , and James thinks he's doing a good job at making sure she knows he's happy for her. It's much easier to just immerse himself in work rather than use any free time he has to dwell on the idea of having feelings for Lily, who's happily in a relationship, and the fact that it kind of really sucks. But, God, he's had years. He's had every working week day, and every other weekend, and stakeouts, and everything,  _ everything _ . 

"You've made four new arrests this week, Potter," Marlene says to him on a Friday, eyeing up the files in her hand. "Good job. You really should go home and get some rest, you've been here every day this week doing overtime."

"You know what, Captain? That sounds like a great idea." Marlene gives him a firm nod that he interprets as the equivalent to a smile, and finishes scribbling his last report. 

Lily walks in with two coffee cups, and she places one of them on his desk, taking a sip out of the other. "That's repayment for yesterday's coffee, so now we're even."

"Thanks," he says absent-mindedly, gulping down the hot chocolate. "Got any plans this weekend?"

"I do, actually," she tells him with a grin. "Bertram's booked us a couples weekend at a spa, so I'm looking forward to that."

"Oh." He thrusts his report on the top of a stack of papers, and says, "Sounds fun."

"Mhm, I hope so. We're kind of taking things to the next level." James' eyes flicker, but she's focusing on her computer screen so she doesn't really notice. "What about you? Any plans?"

"Just… Work, you know me," James says with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. He grabs one of the other files on his desk at random. 

"You've been working a lot this week. One would start to think that you're becoming a good cop," she teases, and he laughs. He quickly excuses himself to go talk to Remus.

"What do you want, James?" Remus sighs, when said man takes a seat on the corner of his desk.

"We're going to solve this case," James says, and he shoves the case file in his hand towards his friend. 

"The case ran cold five years ago," Remus says tiredly. It's a matter of their friendship that he doesn't even question the randomness of this request. "It's a Friday night."

"Then we'll spend all weekend." As if it wasn't James' plan all along. He does his best not to recoil at the scathing look Remus gives him, but the Sergeant nevertheless opens the file.

\--

"Are you going to tell me what this is all about?" Remus says the following Sunday night, after a weekend of solving an unsolvable case. He's used to being tired, but he wants to go home and collapse in his bed right now. At least he got paid overtime for this. 

James is tapping his fingers against his glass. He looks up a little at the question, looking as tired as Remus feels. God, if that isn't a first. "Hm?"

"You look like you haven't slept in a month, Prongs. For the whole weekend, you spent the entire time telling me how amazing it's going to be when we solved this case, and we have, and you're sitting here, looking like Padfoot broke your TV again. What's going with you?"

He shrugs. "I am happy."

"No, you're not," Remus shakes his head, feeling a little lost. "You broke the precinct record for most arrests last month, and you weren't happy. You solved an unsolvable case in two days, and you weren't happy. No case is going to make you happy. I know you, all right? And I know that you work yourself like this so you're distracted. Something's bothering you, and you're going to have to deal with it."

"Yeah, well." James' gaze swings involuntarily to Lily at the bar, leaning in to whisper something in Bertram's ear. He thinks it's meant to be a quick glance, but he gets caught on the way her mouth is curved into a smile, and he has to close his eyes for a second, before opening them and looking back at Remus. "Maybe I can't deal with it. Or whatever."

Unsurprisingly, Remus is watching him, and he sags a little when he realises. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"I… I don't know what advice I have for that," Remus says slowly, and James shrugs again. "But I do know that working yourself to the bone isn't going to help. Trust me. I know."

James takes a deep breath, eyes softening slightly. Of course Remus knows. Remus, who works harder than anyone else James knows, who spent his entire life trying to prove his worth and become a Sergeant. All those times when he, Sirius and Peter found Remus studying at 2am, and forcing some water down him instead of caffeine, and making sure he slept, comes rushing back to him in a single moment, and James feels a rush of affection for his friend. "Thanks."

There's a pause, and then Remus says, "Want to do a shot?" And, as they're walking towards the bar, Lily bumping James' arms when they pass her, Remus adds, "So. Lily?"

"We're going to need a lot more shots if we're doing this," James says without missing a beat, because it's embarrassing how badly he wants to wax on about how much she makes him feel, and how he has caught himself  Googling 'how to get over someone' way more than should be necessary for a fully grown man, and how when she smiles at him like  _ that _ sometimes it makes him feel like a galaxy exploded in his chest. 

\--

Peter's girlfriend of two months, three days, breaks up with him on a Tuesday night, and he comes into work the next day miserable. James spends the entire day with Remus trying to console him, because Sirius took one look and said "Yikes!" before walking away. Dorcas had thumped her oldest friend on the back awkwardly and offered to beat his ex up.

"Poor Peter," Lily says later in the photocopying room. She'd brought him a box of doughnuts earlier. "God knows it's a terrible feeling. I hope I never go through a breakup again."

James blinks behind his glasses. "You really think you're going to be with Bertram forever?"

"No," she says on auto-pilot, and then catches herself, eyes wide. Her fingers skate across her mouth as if to take back the words. "I mean. I don't know. Maybe."

He nods in response, and she shifts uncomfortably, both lost in thought.

\-- 

The very next day, Marlene calls him to her office, and she looks graver than usual, so he's kind of worried. When she tells him about needing him to go undercover for six months, he doesn't know why his breath catches in his throat. 

Because he's wanted this forever. He's wanted to become a police officer since he was sixteen and realised that the best way he could help people was like this. In every universe, in every world, James Potter had tried to do what's right, and that's what counts, isn't it? He was a terrible little shit as a child, made mistakes that scarred some people maybe with his reckless tongue, but he turned sixteen and realised the world was already shit without him adding to it, and he wanted to change. He wanted to make a change. Being a cop brought him a sense of peace he doesn't know what to do without, and going undercover has always been an unattainable, exciting part of it, and here he is, being offered the chance.

Then, why does he still feel like he's missing something?

When he's accepted the case, and all relevant friends are informed at the precinct, and he's packed up the few things he needed from the mess on his desk, James grins at Sirius' and Peter's congratulations. And then he sees Lily walking out of the building, bag packed to leave for the end of the day, and everything in him is saying to go after her, because it may be the last time. 

Still, it takes him ten minutes to finally will himself to do it, and by the time his long strides have caught him, she's already outside the building, and he calls, "Lily! Hey, wait up!"

"Potter," she says, turning around. She gives him a smile, all dimples and wide, and he almost loses his courage right there and then. "Congrats on your case! It's amazing. I'm a little jealous, honestly."

"That's a first,  _ the _ Lily Evans jealous of me?"

"Damn right, feel special, Potter," she says, and she laughs, the kind where it moves her entire body and a few loose strands of her hair fall out from behind her ears. 

It's a little ridiculous, but he's subconsciously trying to remember these little things, the way she looks right now. He knows he's only going undercover for six months, a year tops, but seeing Lily Evans has been a norm in his life now and he's just. He's really going to miss her. But anyway, he needs to say something, and he needs to do it now. "Hey. So. Look. I don't want to be a jerk or anything, and, like, I know you're with Bertram, and it's all going well, and you're happy and everything, but I think I'm going to be really pissed with myself if something bad goes down on this case with me and I never actually told you, so ---"

"James," she says softly, a little bewildered, a little bemused. Her mouth is still tilted up from laughing a few seconds before, and he clenches his fist to stop himself from reaching up and tucking a lock of her hair away from her face. "What are you talking about?"

"I kind of, you know, wished," he says, then pauses, correcting himself, "wish that something could happen between us. Romantic stylez. And I know that's dumb, because you're happy with Bertram right now, and I'm going undercover for a while, but. Yeah. That's just. That's how it is." And he takes a deep breath, everything finally out there, wondering if he's trembling from the cold or from everything that he just said. He's not looking at her in the eye, more like the top of her red hair, and he tries to go for a grin. "But I guess I've got to go. Can't be in contact with you or anyone until the assignment's up, so. See you, Lily."

The grin doesn't quite work, so he offers her a weak smile instead, and he moves to walk past her quickly, unable to stand being in this moment a second longer. The confession really should lighten something in his bones, but mostly he wants to never think about whether he's ruined this relationship with the most amazing girl he knows, so he walks away. He chances a last glance at her when he's halfway down the street, and all he can see is her back to him.

Thing is, Lily is entirely too good at helping other people and faking be competent that, in situations like this, she has no idea what to do. What do you say when arguably one of your best friends say that the door you always thought was closed could've been open this entire time? She likes Bertram, truly, but she can feel her heart trying to claw its way out of her chest, and she's replaying the phrase ' _ Romantic Stylez _ ' over and over again. She's in a sundress, and the cold air is biting at her bare skin, and she's not aware of this or any damn thing until she unfreezes herself. Her mouth is still half-open in an attempt to have said something before he left, but the words must've caught in her throat, and she turns, too late, to see his retreating self turn around the corner of the street, and he's  _ gone _ . 

\--

Except. Except James comes back, dives back into the old normality of his work, like nothing changed, and Lily doesn't know why it bothers her, but it does.

Actually, she does. It's because a lot's changed. It's because six months ago, he threw her entire world off-centre. It took a lot for her to try and put it back on track, and she's sure it still isn't fixed. She's just gotten used to accepting it now. 

"Hey," James says, breaking through her thoughts. He's leaning over their conjoined desks, and she missed this. "Didn't get a chance to say a proper hi earlier. Can we talk?"

He's right. He's been completely swamped by Sirius, Remus and Peter since he got back, and she greeted him when everyone else did, but. Not really.

"Yeah, sure," she says, and five minutes later, they're in the records room, staring awkwardly at each other. She honestly cannot remember a time she's been this awkward with him before.

"This is kind of weird," he blurts out, and she's really glad that he's acknowledged it. "And I know we left things kind of weird, with me saying that I liked you, and ---"

"I'm still with Bertram," she says suddenly, cutting him off. He deserves to know. He should definitely know before he says anything else. 

"Oh. Good. Good." James nods. She tries not to wince. "I mean. Because I was just going to say that we left things kind of weird, with me saying that I liked you, and I just wanted you to know that it isn't. You know. Completely true. Like, I was about to go undercover, and I was getting freaked out and everything, and you were the last one I saw before I left, so. Yeah."

"Oh," she says, because it's the only thing she can think of saying. 

"Yeah. So, uh, now that's sorted. Nice to see you again, Evans." And he grins, moving to open the door for her to leave first, and she nudges him as she walks out.

This removes all complications now, does it? That sinking feeling in Lily's chest is definitely not disappointment. At all.

\--

"We missed you, Potter," Marlene says at his ' _ Welcome Back _ ' party, and her almost-smile makes him want to hug her, if he wasn't so afraid she'd fire him solely for that. Instead, he raises his glass with everyone else, cheering.

It's been a rough first day back. He missed the work environment and everyone here and all, but the perp who he couldn't catch today really hit him like a boulder, and it still hadn't really helped when Sirius reminded him that this one criminal he hadn't managed to catch in comparison to the entire drug ring he took down undercover was nothing.

It made him think about lost chances and things out of his control, so it's really that that spurs him on to go sit next to Lily at the bar. "Hey."

"Hey," she says, and accepts the drink he hands her.

"I just wanted to tell you that, uh." He stumbles on his words a little, but forges on. "That I didn't actually mean what I said earlier. In the records room."

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. Everything I said before I left was completely true, and I lied about it in the records room because I was embarrassed, but," he shrugs, "I just don't want to hold anything back anymore. I don't want to lie to you, and it kind of sucks that I lied earlier."

"Oh. Well, thank you for telling me." She takes a sip of the drink, and smiles gently. Her expression quickly morphs into something resembling nervousness. "Just. You know. Just that you know that I'm with someone and nothing's going to happen between us."

"'I'm with someone and nothing's going to happen between us', title of your sex tape," he says, the brightness back in his eyes.

She laughs, relieved that the awkwardness has melted away. That he's not only back to normal with his workload, but with her, too. That's important to her. " _ And _ you're back."

James grins at her, all teeth, and then says a little softer, "But, yeah. I know you're with Bertram. I'm not going to try and break you up or anything. I know you're happy." 

"Thanks," she says, then raises her glass. "To you being back. And being a pain in my ass again."

When he laughs, she thinks,  _ this _ is what she missed when he went away. 

\--

"Dorcas ---"

"No." She barely glances up from her computer screen.

"You don't even know ---"

"I don't need to," she says, cutting him off again. This time, she looks up and folds her arms. "Everything that comes out of your mouth is a bad idea, so I don't want any part of that."

"That is probably the smartest choice," James admits. "But, I'm serious."

"No, I am!" Sirius calls from across the room, which would usually be nothing, but. He's napping at his desk at the moment. When they glance over, his eyes are still closed.

"Right. But, really, what would it take for you to give me your friend Emma's number?"

"Emma Vanity?" Dorcas looks at his puppy-dog eyes, then shakes her head. "Not a chance. You know I don't mix work life and personal life."

"C'mon, not even this one time?" he whines.

"No. Anyways, don't you still like Lily?"

He looks over at said woman, but she's concentrating on her paperwork and doesn't appear to hear a thing. He turns back to Dorcas. "Don't be silly, of course not. That was, like, a mini crush. I've moved on."

"Right." Dorcas looks like she doesn't believe a word he is saying. 

"I'm telling the truth," he insists. "Look, how about… How about if I win at our annual chess tournament tonight, you give me Emma's number?"

Five years ago, Peter got drunk after yet another breakup, and ended up having an impromptu chess tournament with James, Sirius and Remus. This isn't exactly extraordinary when he does it every so often, but that time, Lily and Dorcas were also drunk and wanted to participate, and winner got bragging rights for the rest of the year. So far, Peter's won four out of five, with Remus stealing the title in the second year, before having to give it back.

"Hm. And if you lose?"

"I'll give you a hundred bucks."

Dorcas considers it over. "All right, fuck it. Peter wins it all the time, so I might as well make a hundred bucks as well."

\--

For the second time today, James is using his puppy-dog eyes with exactly zero regrets.

"You want me to throw the game, my reigning title, just so you can get a girl's number?" Peter says slowly. "Are you joking?"

"And save me a hundred bucks!" James reasons, and Peter gives him a side eye.

"Why do you want this girl's number so bad? I thought you still liked Lily."

"I  _ don't _ like Lily, I've moved on," James repeats from earlier. "And Emma's nice! And hot. Look, Wormtail, help me out here. Name your terms. And do it quick because we're both on in a second, since Remus is going to check mate Sirius in less than two moves."

There's a pause, and Peter sighs. "You're buying my drinks for the next three months."

"Deal!" 

"Ah, shit, I should've said six months."

When Peter loses half an hour later, in what  _ looked _ like a struggle, everyone is understandably shocked, and Dorcas goes straight to James.

"You bribed him," she accused, and he'd be more offended that she doubted his chess playing skills if he didn't get kicked out of the tournament before Round Two every year.

"All's fair in love and war," he says. "And I want Emma's number."

"Bribing isn't going to work with me!" Lily calls from the chess table. She's now locked in a serious game with Remus, but she still looks up to grin at James. "After I kick Remus' ass, yours is next. Sorry, Remus," she adds, not sounding all that apologetic, but Remus just smiles, making his move.

"You wish you got the privilege of touching this ass," James throws back, and Lily sticks her tongue at him before turning her attention back to the board.

Dorcas is looking at him with an unamused face.

"What?"

She shakes her head, walking away and muttering under her breath.

To Lily's increasingly insufferable taunts towards James, she beats Remus, who raises his hands in mock-surrender when she yells "Checkmate!" at the top of her lungs.

"Ready to lose, Potter?" she says with an eyebrow quirk as he takes Remus' seat. Her hair is tied back in a ponytail and she's cracking her knuckles.

"I haven't lost a day in my life," he says.

She gives him a look. "That's the fattest lie I've heard. There's that time when Remus beat you in that race to the chocolate store, and when Dorcas challenged you to that arm wrestle, and, like, every time we've competed against each other ever --- "

"Make your move, Evans!" he says hurriedly, trying to make her shut up. "White pieces go first." 

Of course, no one can really shut Lily Evans up when she's on a roll, particularly when she's feeling extra competitive and when all of this is aimed at James. After an hour of bickering, and what others frankly deem as flirting, Sirius has propped his phone up to record this game instead of holding it himself and is playing darts with Remus on the other side of the room, to which Remus is winning yet again. Dorcas is leaning on Peter's shoulders as they half-watch the chess game, though both their eyes keep drifting open and closed. 

Another half an hour slips by, and James doesn't understand how Lily still has so much ammunition for trash talking, because she's still going. Finally, he sees an opening to win, and he just has to wait until she plays her move, and he can take it.

"I can't wait to beat you," Lily says again, like she hasn't repeated it already. She's still deliberating over her move.

"Why do you want to win so bad?"

"Because I like winning," she says like it's obvious. "And Tuney --- that is, Petunia, always used to beat me at chess, so I'm definitely getting better. I didn't even think I'd make it to the finals this year!"

She's so pumped on glee and genuine happiness at coming so far in a made-up tournament that it hits him slightly. He thinks that it's sort of amazing that she throws her entire self into everything she does, even this dumb chess tournament that they all made up when they were drunk, and how much she cared about it, cared about these little things. When she makes her next move, her face lights up as if she spotted a way to win, and James kind of wants to take a picture and immortalise Lily Evans in her best kind of state.

His hand lifts the piece he needs to check mate her king, and then he pauses. Bragging rights would be truly great for the next year, but he doesn't think it'd compare to seeing Lily's face bringing warmth like the sun if she realised she won.

It's a split-second decision, and he lower his piece to move a pawn instead.

She jumps up out of her chair, placing her last move with one big flourish, before screaming triumphantly. "Yes! I win! I beat you, Potter!" 

Her screaming seems to startle Dorcas and Peter, who both cheer, and Sirius and Remus both come back to heckle at James for losing. Lily's dancing a little jig by herself, arms in the air and grin wide, and James has to try and school his features into expressing his disappointment at losing, even though it's proving very damn hard. 

\--

"Sucks that you lost," a voice says to his left when he comes out of the bathroom, and James has to clutch his heart as he jumps. Dorcas is smirking at him.

"I didn't lose," he say, and her eyebrows jump up.

"Yeah?"

"I screwed up the last move so she could win," he says, sighing dejectedly. "You're right. I'm not over Lily."

"What gave it away, the way she looked at you when she won or both your flirting?" Dorcas says dryly.

"Yeah, I deserved that," James admits. "But at least you don't have to give me Emma's number after all. Small pleasures in life, eh?"

Truth is, he forgot all about Emma's number as he was playing his last game with Lily. When he let her win, the thought of losing out on his deal with Dorcas was the last thing on his mind. He just wanted to see her light up. He just wanted to see her grin at him like that, and that was probably a worse reason.

Dorcas studies him cryptically, looking at his face as if she's searching for something, and he tries not to flinch. He's worked with her for years and she's still kind of terrifying. He can tell you exactly three things about Dorcas Meadowes, and that's pretty much the extent to which he knows her. For all he knows, she could be contemplating whether to stab him. He wouldn't be surprised. After a while, she nods to herself. "Okay. All right. Give me your phone." 

"Why?" he says suspiciously, but hands his phone over. 

"Because I'm giving you Emma's number," she says, tapping on it. "Don't make me regret it."

"But --- but I lost the bet," he says stupidly, and she rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, but the only way you're going to get over Lily is if you go out there and find someone. Otherwise, you're going to be stuck wallowing on her. And she's great, Lily is, one of the best people I know, all right? But she's like a bug you can't shake, so call Emma."

"Thank you, Dorcas," he says sincerely. She pulls a face and hands back his phone. "Does that mean I don't need to give you your hundred bucks?"

"Fuck, no. I still want my money, Potter."

\--

He calls Emma that night, and before he realises, they've arranged a first date, and then a second, and then a third, until it becomes a regular thing and they've been in what he thinks is a relationship for four months now.

The thing is, Emma is great. Truly. She has dark hair and dark eyes, and she laughs at his good jokes and rolls her eyes at his bad ones. She has a way of making talking with her seem easy, without making him feel as though he has to put on some airs to speak to her or anything. Her family was from inherited money as well, and she understands his slight disdain at the full surrounding it all. Her humour is wicked, she speaks in blunt truths, and she had six glasses of wine without being a little drunk. Most importantly, James could really, really see himself falling in love with her in due time.

And James doesn't do things half-heartedly, he doesn't know how to. When he was younger, his mother had cupped his cheek in her hand and told him he was going to end up breaking his own heart a thousand times over, because that was who he is. And, yeah. He still had a thing for Lily four months ago, and he still sometimes feels things when she looks at him in a certain way, but he's with Emma, and there's a different kind of happiness when he's lying on the couch with Emma, drinking beer and marathoning the Fast & Furious movies. Marlene McKinnon comments that he's smiling more, like it's a major feat.

He thinks this is called moving on, and he's okay with that.

Of course, when things go up, they must come down, so he really should've called the burning and crashing before it happened.

\--

"Oh, hey, I hope this is cool with you," James says, and Lily looks up from her desk. "Since we're not technically on duty until tomorrow morning, and we're heading up stake out at the hotel tonight, I invited Emma to join. It's quite a pretty place, so I thought it'd be nice."

"No, that's cool! That's actually really lovely. Bertram's never done anything that romantic or spontaneously," she says, a little wistful, before shaking her head. "No, that's unfair. He does stuff sometimes. He bought me the Jane Austen collection in the brand new covers the other day, it was awesome." She smiles a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes, and then pushes out her seat. "I'll see you in the car in a sec?"

"Yep, sure thing!" James waits until Lily's left the room, before grabbing the phone and typing in a number. "Hey, can I speak with Detective Bertram Aubrey please? Tell him it's Potter."

\--

A few hours later, Lily sees Emma before James does as they enter the hotel, and calls, "Hey, Emma!"

"Hey, Lily," she says, giving her a smile before leaning in and giving James a kiss. "Hey, so I can take us to our room first, and we can meet up for dinner maybe? That all right with you, Lily?"

"That's totally fine, see you guys later," Lily replies, going towards the front desk to pick up her own room key.

"Oh, hey," James says to Lily, waving Emma to go ahead, "before I forget, try and stay around the lobby in about half an hour. I got you a surprise."

"No!" Lily says instantly, and a few people's heads turn at the volume. She lowers her voice back down. "Your surprises are always fucking horrible. You have to tell me what it is."

James frowns, mock offended. "You're going to love this. You know how you said that Bertram would never do something so spontaneous like turning a work trip to a romantic trip?"

"James, you didn't."

"James did, you're welcome," he says with a smug smile, and stops when Lily groans. "What?"

"You fucking idiot!" she cries, and he takes a reflexive step back. "I was about to break up with Bertram."

"Oh," he says, letting it sink in. "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck." He winces, taking in her stressed-out expression. "Why would you do that? I thought things were going great! Didn't you get a joint library card last month?"

" _ Don't _ remind me," she says scathingly. She buries her face in her hands. "We've just lost that… Spark, that's all. And he's so bloody boring, I just can't do this anymore, you know? So I had a plan and everything for this! I always fuck up these type of things, so I booked us a restaurant to go to next Thursday, and I'm only halfway through my breakup speech, but now he's on his way!"

"I can fix this," he promises. "I'll just call him up and tell him to turn back around ---"

"You can't. He's a really good detective, he'll know something's definitely up."

"I'm sorry," James say, so sincere that she looks up from her hands. "Look, I'll spend the whole time helping you out. Like a buffer! I swear, it'll be fine."

When James tells Emma the plan five minutes later, she laughs in his face for a full minute and says, "Typical James. Trying to help, but blowing up in your face." He really can't disagree. But at least she seems okay with it, kissing him more than once affectionately, before getting ready for dinner. He thinks she's way too cool for him, honestly.

To her credit, it's Emma who comes up with a good plan. "We've just got to stay with you for the rest of the night, we'll stay out as late as we can for dinner, and then the only time you're alone with him is when you get to your room and you can fake tiredness." She says it like she's done it before, and James makes a mental note to ask her about it later. He kisses her for her genius plan. "Any time you feel like you're panicking, say 'ginger biscuits' and we'll take over."

And then she's heading straight into the restaurant, where Bertram's already seated, and Lily whispers to James in awe, "She's amazing."

It takes a lot of effort, but James and Emma manage to redirect every remotely romantic thing Bertram says during dinner into something that makes them all pull a face, so James calls it a win. It's not until dessert when things begin to hit a bump in the road. 

Bertram's in the middle of a monologue about the history of pavements, and how they got on that topic serves as evidence to James and Emma's interference skills, when Lily shakes her head, muttering, "God, I can't do it anymore."

"Ginger biscuits," James says with a forced smile. "Ginger biscuits!"

"I can't, James," Lily pleads, and then she turns to the man next to herself. "Bertram. Bertram,  I want to break up."

"What? Why?" 

"There's a few reasons why," Lily says honestly, and then backtracks. "I mean. Not a few. It's not a lot. Just like. You're boring." She looks horrified that she said it. 

Emma pulls a face across the table. "Oh, sweetie, no. James, maybe we should, you know, go ---"

"No." They all stop short at Bertram's firm voice, looking at him with wide eyes. "You guys should stay, so we can talk about the real reason why Lily's breaking up with me."

"I'm right here," Lily says, annoyed. 

"The real reason is you, Potter," Bertram continues, as if he didn't hear her.

"Uh, what?"

"About how you told her you liked her before you went undercover." 

And time stands still, just for a moment. 

Emma looks at James, surprised. "You liked Lily?"

"Uh," James repeats, before shaking his head. He wants the ground to open and swallow him up. "I did. At one point. But that was like a year ago."

"Was it?" Bertram says, and James really, really wants him to shut up. "Because I know that you told her you still liked her when you got back, and every time you said it, our relationship went out of sync, and I think. I think it's because Lily liked you back."

"You did?" James doesn't know why that's the only thing he's focusing on, but he turns to look at her, a little dazed.

Lily looks like a deer caught in headlights, shrinking slightly under the pressure of everyone's stares. "I don't know. Maybe. Yes. A little." She's stumbling on her words, green eyes blinking rapidly. Her gaze catches his.

She's spent a long time thinking about this. When James left, she'd spent a long time coming to terms with what he told her, and Bertram noticed. Lily was actually notoriously bad with her own feelings, but was very good at hiding it, and when her own failure to decipher her feelings failed, she allowed logic to come in play instead. Because Bertram was a wonderful boyfriend and a good person, and he made her smile, and there was no reason to throw away a perfectly good relationship when one of her best friends go away for a few months. 

She most definitely liked James at one point. She most definitely liked Bertram. She was just getting confused with timing and the way she truly felt and what she wanted and --- Fuck.

"I'm going to head back to our room," Emma says in the silence, standing up. She sounds closed off, and Lily wants to redo this entire dinner.

"Yeah, me too. I'll be driving home now, but I'll come back in a few days for some of my stuff," Bertram tells Lily, a little cold. He sounds hurt, and this. This fucking sucks. She's always been kind until someone really pisses her off, but Bertram's done nothing but be an average boyfriend when she wanted more, so. She didn't want to him, yet it's all she has managed to do.

\--

"I'm sorry about all of that," James says back in their room, fiddling with his fingers. Emma is almost eye level with him in her heels, but he can't look at her in the eye. "I just. I did like Lily a few months ago."

Emma nods. Doesn't seem surprised. "Do you still like her?"

"No." It's not a lie. It's not the truth, either. James wants to be honest to Emma, but he doesn't even know himself.

"James." 

"Yeah?" He raises his eyes to meet hers. 

"You should've seen your face when she said she liked you too," Emma says softly, and he cringes.

"I don't like her anymore. I like you."  _ That _ , at least, he knows is the truth. "Emma, I think I love you."

She blinks at him, takes a wobbly step back. "James, it's only been four months. If you're trying to convince me that you're not into Lily anymore, that's cool, but ---"

"No, I'm being honest," he insists, and. And he thinks he is. He really could do this forever, pillow talks with her, eating takeouts at the dining table, exchanging kisses over morning coffee. He could see it all. 

She bites her lip, and he doesn't realise he's never seen her anxious or nervous or even unsure until now. "You don't love me."

"I do!" He takes a breath. "But, it's okay. Like. We can pretend this never happened, that I never said that, and we can just move on. You don't have to say it back."

"I don't think you take it back and move on," she whispers. 

"Emma." Suddenly, he knows what's going to happen before it's going to happen. "Don't do this."

"I'm sorry," she says, and she kisses his cheek, leaning forward briefly before pulling away. Her bag is still unpacked on the floor, so she picks it up.. "Goodbye, James."

He watches her helplessly as she walks towards the door. She's got one hand on the door handle when she stops. "James?"

"Yeah?" He sounds deflated. He gives his heart up so easily, this boy. If she said she loved him back in that moment, he would've given her everything.

"You said you  _ think _ you loved me. You said you  _ think _ . That's," she pauses. "That's kind of important."

\--

On the car ride back to Brooklyn, James and Lily both sit in silence.

"Did you and Emma…?"

"Yeah, we broke up." His hand on the wheel tightens.

"I'm sorry," she says heavily. "Was it because of me?"

"No." She looks like she doesn't believe him, so he continues. "I told her I love her. And it was a bit too soon, and she didn't feel the same way, and, uh. It was my fault, honestly."

"I'm sorry," she repeats.

"Don't be." He shrugs, and they lapse into silence again. "Hey, should I take a left here down, on  _ You Use To Like Me Lane _ , or here, on  _ James Boulevard _ ?"

Lily chuckles, hand over her mouth as her cheeks tinge pink. "I'll kill you. Swear to God. Just drive."

And they're both laughing, and James thinks that they shouldn't really be having fun at a time like this when he can still feel Emma's rejection heavy in his chest, but here he is. 

\--

Months roll by, and they throw themselves into the familiarity of work and their professional relationship. Because that's what seems to work best for them, doesn't it? Bantering during stakeouts, friendly competition for most arrests. That's. That's their thing. 

Besides, there are much more interesting things to focus on.

Like how Lily found out that Mary Macdonald wanted a renewal of vows with a small wedding, since they never really had managed to have one the first time around. Mary had said that they had a court ceremony the day same-sex marriage was legalised in case they repealed it all over again.

"You never told me you wanted a renewal," Marlene says, a little accusingly, but mostly softer than anyone has ever heard her speak. Mary has that effect on her. James tends to ask for work favours from the Captain when her wife is around.

So a bewildered Mary had allowed Lily to plan a (small) wedding in the span of a few weeks preparation, and Lily had taken this job incredibly seriously. She had a binder and everything. James is a little in awe with her, but Dorcas takes one look at this entire situation and declares Lily a life-threatening war machine. Lily takes it as high praise, looking all pleased.

To everyone's surprise, Sirius jumps at the opportunity of being Lily's assistant in this wedding planning.

"You know me," Sirius says when Remus comments on it. He raises his chin a little higher. "Spreading love and joy on everyone's lives." Remus snorts.

In a month and a half, Lily's somehow orchestrated an entire wedding out of seemingly nowhere, despite the fact that everyone's (minus Sirius) only job was to show up at the actual ceremony, Mary and Marlene included.

"Lily, this is amazing," Mary breathes when they finally see the full setting, a small garden with half a dozen chairs placed in front of a floral archway. "Thank you."

"Don't be silly, this was nothing," but Lily's glowing with pride, the dusting of sparkles on her cheeks moving with her smile. "Now get up there! Black is waiting for you to renew your vows!"

("Since when were you a Minister?" Remus asks, narrowing his eyes at Sirius.

"I'm multi-talented, bitch. Honestly, Moony," Sirius says, sighing dramatically. "You have no faith in me about anything." He makes a point to delete Remus from their group chat right in front of him to show how offended he is.)

Mary cries at the ceremony, and so does Sirius, and Lily, and Peter, and Remus, and James, and even Dorcas has a hard time making her face stoic. Marlene's not crying, but she's looking at Mary like she's the entire world, like a constellation fell and took the form of this small woman, and Lily starts another whole round of tears from this alone.

"Why're you drinking by yourself here, Doe?" Lily says later, taking a seat at the bar. Her eyes are still red, but she looks happy. "Have you said your congratulations yet?"

Dorcas scowls in a way Lily takes for a no.

"Are you still avoiding Mary?" Lily presses, and frowns when Dorcas doesn't answer, only take a long swig from her glass. "Oh, come on. Mary doesn't care that you went out with Marlene, like, a billion years ago. God knows she's been with other people too."

"It's still… Weird," Dorcas says, looking uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with what, Lily doesn't know. Probably emotions. 

"Mary doesn't hold grudges, especially unfounded ones," Lily says seriously. She grabs the drink out of her friend's hand and has a sip. "Avoiding her is dumb. Go say congratulations to them." And she's forcefully pushing Dorcas out of her chair and towards the newly wedded couple, making shoo-ing motions.

"Wanna dance?" 

Lily jumps at the new voice, and turns to find James standing next to her, hand outstretched. With a shrug, she drains the rest of the glass in her hand and hops off her stool, grabbing his hand.

\--

See, now that Lily's single again, it really shouldn't surprise James that people are going to be interested. People were interested in her when she was dating Bertram. Lily's like a magnet, with her charm and wit and compassion, and James would be more surprised with people who weren't immediately taken with her, if he's honest.

Really, he has absolutely no right getting itchy that Detective Effy Macmillan is clearly interested in Lily, because he's respectful of her boundaries and all, but. But, still.

At first, Effy coming over from 62 to work with them on a case was great. It was the murder mystery kind that James preferred, if only to stimulate his mind, and Effy's work was impressive. When Marlene had assigned James and Lily on the case with her, it was exciting, until ---

"Hey," Effy says to him when they're on a coffee run. Lily's still back at the precinct, insisting on finishing off some paperwork first. "Could I ask you something?"

"Sure," he says easily. He hands the barista some change. 

"Is Lily seeing anyone right now?" 

The hand putting his money back in his wallet fumbles, and he does his best to play it off. "Uh, no, I don't think so. Why?"

"I might ask her out," she says nonchalantly. "After we close the case."

Which is why, an hour later, he's sitting on the corner of Sirius' desk, wallowing pitifully.

"Don't say I'm being pathetic," James says, pointing a finger at his best friend when his mouth opens. "I know, all right?"

Sirius raises his hands in mock-surrender, and is saved by Peter joining the conversation from behind.

"Does Lily like her?"

"How do I know?" James replies, surly, and he knows he's being childish as well.

Peter stares at him. "Has she double tucked?"

"Has she  _ what _ ?" 

"Double tucked," Peter repeats, looking at him strangely. "When Lily likes someone, she tucks her hair behind her ears at the same time."

"How'd you know that?" Sirius asks, a little confused.

"I'm  _ observant _ ," Peter says.

"Right. I mean, I don't think she's double tucked," James says, trying to remember.

"Then you should ask her out before Detective Macmillan does," Peter advises, and James wonders what kind of world they're all living in where he's taking Peter's advice on his love life, and he's actually going to fucking listen.

"Hey, Lily," he says in the break room once the case is solved, and it's tragically the most coherent thing he says in the next ten minutes. 

"What's up, Potter?" she says, switching on the kettle. 

"Would you --- I would --- You --- Food --- Nice."

As he kicks himself mentally, Lily gives him a strange look. She tilts her head, trying to figure out if this is a prank or something. "Why doesn't your mouth work?"

"'Why doesn't your mouth work?', title of our sex tape."

"What?" 

"Title of  _ your _ sex tape. That's what I said." 

And Peter must take pity on him from his eavesdropping outside the door because he calls his name to excuse him, Sirius cackling behind his phone camera. He has an explicable urge to go home and cry. Of course he just blew up his last chance of asking Lily out. Nice.

\--

When James comes into work the next morning, thoroughly miserable, Sirius grabs him straight away, and says in an urgent voice, "Lily turned down Detective Macmillan's offer for a drink yesterday."

"What?" James gapes at him. "How do you know that?"

Sirius rolls his eyes. "Because I'm the best gossip in this damn precinct. You've still got a chance, mate! She's in the break room, go!"

He's pushed abruptly in the direction of the break room, and Lily blinks in surprise at the sudden entrance.

"Morning," she says, dropping her tissue in the bin.

"Morning," he echoes. "I… I heard you turned down Detective Macmillan yesterday."

Lily pulls a face. "Yeah. I didn't expect her to ask me out honestly."

"Any reason why?" he says, and he's aiming for casual, but he's not sure how accurate he's achieving it, considering he's a fucking disaster.

"Mm, I don't know, she's awesome. But I've kind of sworn of dating cops after the whole Bertram thing. Too much drama." 

He can feel his sentence die in his throat and he has to force himself to smile instead. It hurts. "Oh. Oh, right, yeah. I, yeah. I get that." He gestures to the door. "Well, I've got to get back to my desk."

She nods, but he thinks she's used to his strangeness now because she lets him go without saying anything else.

When he's safely seated at his desk, she watches him a little and subconsciously tucks her hair behind her ears. 

\--

"Really?" James says, giving Marlene a face. "I can probably just do this one with Peter. I know Lily's got a pile of work."

"No, I don't?" Lily says, confused.

"Could've sworn you said you did," James lies easily. 

"That's enough," Marlene says. "Potter and Evans will tail Augustine. Meadowes and Pettigrew can stay in the surveillance van. Unless anyone has a problem with it?" She's not even the slightest bit subtle when looking right at James, who shakes his head. 

At the end of the meeting, Lily catches James by the arm and says, "Hey, are you mad at me? Did I do something? Why are you trying to kick me off the case?"

"Oh." James fidgets a little. He'd hoped this wouldn't come up. He really doesn't want to say it. "Remember when you said you didn't want to date cops?" Lily nods. "I was, uh. Thinking of asking you out. So that bummed me out. But I know that's not what you want and I'm going to respect your wishes, so. It's fine. I get it."

"James, this is weird," Lily says, fiddling with an earring. "The point was not dating cops so it wouldn't be weird."

"It's not going to be weird," James says firmly. "We can go back to being professional and forget this all. Promise."

\--

"Why's he getting out the car here?" Lily says with a frown. "He's still got the laptop."

"Clearly he's having dinner with his side piece here first," Dorcas says, wrinkling her nose. 

"We need to follow him in," James says, and Lily looks at him, surprised, but she doesn't argue. She's already pushing the door open.

They file in right behind Augustine and his girl, and James says to the hostess, "Table for two, please."

"I'm sorry, we don't have any more tables free."

James sends Lily a panicked look for a second, but she makes her eyes go wide, voice softer, "Oh, no. See, Johnny and I just got engaged, and we would've booked in advance, but he didn't know if i was going to say yes or not." She leans in closer to James, wrapping her arm around his and giving his cheek a kiss. She can feel his gaze on her and she doesn't want to look. She can feel Augustine looking as well, and she  _ really _ doesn't want to look.

"Really?" The hostess puts a hand to her chest, smiling in awe. "Well, I think I could squeeze in space for two young lovers. Give me a second."

When she turns away and Augustine is uninterested in them again, she leans up to whisper in James' ear, and he ducks down a little for her to reach. "Sorry about… Springing that on you. The idea just popped in my mind."

"No worries," James says quietly, and he thinks his voice is an octave too high. "I mean, it worked. And we're just professionals, working on a case. We're good. It's good. The cheek was a bit much, though. Very… Wet."

"I don't know what to tell you. Dora's sloppy," Lily says, laughter in her eyes.

Before he can reply, the hostess smiles and tells them to follow her to a table, motioning to Augustine too, and then suddenly, James and Lily's table is seated right next to Augustine, which is…? A good thing. They think.

"So you're newly engaged," Augustine's girlfriend says after a waiter comes to take their orders, tucking her hand under her chin and watching the two with interest."So how did you meet?"

"Five years ago," Lily says, at the same time as James, who says, "Last year."

"We met five years ago," James corrects, when Augustine raises his eyebrows. 

"And we bumped into each other again last year. At a… At a bar," Lily adds. 

Augustine's girlfriend nods enthusiastically. "So how did you know she was the one?"

"Uh, you know," James says, and the word 'professionals' keep jumping in his mind. He cannot answer this question anywhere near to honestly. That's definitely not on the cards. "Every time I look at… Her face. You know."

"And you?"

Lily shrugs, glancing at James. She doesn't look away. "He makes me laugh."

_ Fuck it. _ James finds himself saying, "And there's no one's opinion I care more about than hers, so."

Lily is still looking at him, green eyes widening slightly, and they look like gems in this dim light. James has to take off his glasses and wipe it down to avoid looking back.

The small talk James and Lily make for the rest of the meal is a little painful, and all too safe, in terms of the way they speak to each other and the topics they stick to. It's like they're toeing an invisible line and the both of them know it, and they're trying really hard not to cross it.

It's almost a relief when Augustine says to his girlfriend that he needs to pop around to the back quickly to talk to the chef and that he'll see her at the car.

"He must be making the handoff," Lily hisses to James, watching Augustine leave. They both drop their napkins and hurry to follow him, peeking into to the kitchens through an open door.

"Look, that's the buyer." Augustine is shaking the chef's hand, and James tilts his head. "Why isn't he handing him the laptop?"

As if he heard him, Augustine looks up and spots the two of them spying on him.

"Shit!" Lily yelps quietly, and James isn't really thinking, impulse decisions ruling his head his entire life, so he does the only thing he can think of. He grabs Lily and kisses her.

All at once, he's hyperaware of everything; the feel of Lily's warm lips on his, her head cradled in his hand, her hair tangled in his fingers, her closed eyes, her hands on his chest, her lips moving, and holy shit, is she kissing him back? But then, someone brushes against his elbow as they pass, and James pulls back to see Augustine looking bemused.

"Oh, sorry. We were just… Looking for a private place," James manages to say, sheepish smile in place.

Augustine is smirking. "I get it. Newly engaged kids. Enjoy."

He walks away, James and Lily watching him with wide eyes, and then James turns back to her.

"Quick thinking," Lily says, and he doesn't want to get his own hopes up, but he thinks she sounds a little breathless. "Yep. Nice. Clearly professional. Good job."

"Clearly professional," James echoes.

They're still avoiding looking at each other when they climb back into the back of the surveillance van, limbs oddly stiff and rigid.

"Why are you two being so weird?" Dorcas says, glancing at them through the rearview mirror as she drives.

"We're not being weird," Lily replies loudly.

"Lily and I kissed," James says at the same time, and Lily gives him a look.

"Really?" Peter exclaims, and he looks like Chrismas has come early. 

"To keep our cover from being blown," she hastens to add. "All professional. For work."

"Kissing is nothing. Call me when you grab each others' asses," Dorcas says with an eyeroll. "Oh, wait, they're slowing down. I think he's making the handoff here." She pulls up at the side of the road, squinting in the darkness. "Hold on, no. It's just a drop off. He's leaving the package under that bench."

James is thankful for this distraction in the form of work, and he opens the car door. "Lily and I'll stay with the package, and you and Peter can continue tailing Augustine."

Dorcas gives him a nod.

"It's kinda cold," Lily says after five minutes of silence. She and James are pacing around the tree next to the park bench. "And I'm starving. God, you know what I'm going to get after this?"

"Yeah, Chinese dumplings from the takeaway next to the precinct and your favourite coffee," James says automatically. 

She looks at him in surprise. "That's exactly what I'm going to get."

"Yeah, well, I guess I know you," he replies, feeling a little self-conscious in the way she's looking at him. "Hey, Lily."

"Yeah?"

"Hey, Lily," he repeats again, and she tilts her head at him. "Don't look. That guy by the package is staring at us."

"He is?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, this is happening," she breathes out, sounding resigned, and presses her mouth against his, swallowing his confusion. She's taken him by surprise, because their teeth clank together due to the force of having to throw herself up against him to reach his face. Her fingers are tracing patterns on his neck without realising, and it's really cold out, she thinks she might be getting goosebumps, but he feels so  _ warm _ . 

She shifts them slightly so she can see the man pick up the package, and she launches herself away from James, raising her gun. "Freeze, NYPD! You are under arrest! We are work colleagues!"

James has copied her in swift, quick movements. "This is completely professional!"

\--

The thing is. The thing is that they've faked being a couple more than just twice; they've worked on cases as partners for years now, and it shouldn't be anything new, but it  _ is _ . 

"This night's been weird," James says in the break room that night, watching Lily sign their joint report. "It's just been… Really weird."

She shifts uncomfortably. She briefly wonders if he can tell that she spent the last hour thinking about the way his lips felt on hers, before mentally scolding herself. "Yeah. I don't want things to be weird between us."

"Neither do I."

"I kinda wish things could go back to the way they were before," she admits. It's true, in a sense. She missed her life without complications like this. It was just easier. Because wanting to kiss James again and wanting him in that way is one thing when she can finally come clean with herself, but the idea of taking this leap is another and frankly incredibly terrifying. She thinks she values their current relationship too much. What if they're no good together? What if the only way this whole thing works is when they're making fun of each other and pretending they're not half-in-love?

"We can do that," James insists. He takes the report back. "Thank you, Detective Evans."

She smiles. Her hand really shouldn't be lingering on the folder. "You're welcome, Detective Potter."

And then they're crashing into each other, like the tide meeting the shore. They've kissed exactly twice, both in the span of the last four hours, but their mouths slot together like they've found a home there. Her hands wind themselves around his arm, around his neck, and he's stroking her hair like she's something precious, and she wants to  _ whimper _ , because this --- this feels like  _ everything _ .

When they pull back, they're staring at each other a little taken aback. He cannot remember who leaned in first --- to be honest, he's having a time recalling anything other than everything  _ Lily _ right now. He wants to say it's him who moved first, to compensate feeling like he's burning every time he sees her laugh, but he also wants it to be her who pressed her lips to his, for her to have actively make that choice, and mostly, he's just very glad it happened.

"I don't think I can be professional with you," she says, completely honest and deadly serious, and James --- James  _ laughs _ .

\--

They're lying in James' bed, fingers twisting around each other's as they stare up at the ceiling.

"So,  _ that _ happened," James says.

"It would've happened a lot sooner if you didn't wait a week to double-check that this wasn't against the work rules," Lily retorts, but she's a little glad he did. She would've wanted this entire thing, this relationship, regardless whether it was within their work contract, but it sure as hell makes life a little easier that it's fine. James had stressed on that. They've just got to check in with HR every other week.

He rolls his eyes, then says, a little nervous, "I hope it wasn't a mistake. For you, I mean."

"'I hope it wasn't a mistake', title of your sex tape. Wait, title of  _ our _ sex tape."

She's grinning at him, all teeth and dimples and heart bursting at the seams, and, yeah. Yeah, James is going to marry her one day. 

He leans over to kiss her, and when he pulls back, she takes a second to really look at him, this beautiful man, who sings along to Taylor Swift unironically and has four different types of cereal in his cupboard and calls his mother every Thursday morning, and he's all hers, she can't believe it. It's been years and months, and the world's been throwing shit in their paths since day one, but lying next to him like this, she thinks it's been entirely worth it. 


End file.
